The Domestic Church: A parent’s love gives children a firm foundation of faith

By Father Will Rooney | Guest Columnist

The family’s role in helping foster vocations is an extension of its call as a domestic church to evangelize. Families do not have to be perfect to effectively evangelize their children. All evangelization takes place in the context of relationship, and human relationships are often difficult. My family never has been and never will be perfect – at a minimum because I am not perfect. It was just a few years ago that a screen door I broke when storming out of the house as a teenager was replaced.
My family offered me the space to be imperfect, while still encouraging me to the perfection of charity to which Christ calls us all. It was in such a space that I could receive God’s call to holiness and then eventually hear his call to the priesthood. As a newly ordained priest, I’m extremely grateful to my mom and dad who fostered my initial rooting in the soil of God’s love. They would be the first to admit at times they made mistakes in showing that love. They did their best to be sensitive to what we needed (not necessarily what we wanted) and to fulfill those needs, though like all parents they sometimes failed. Nevertheless, through their willingness to keep trying, they gave my brothers and me the opportunity to root ourselves securely in the love of God.
A well-known psychological theory of attachment describes the behavior of young children in relation to their parents. It proposes that through repeated interactions with their mothers, fathers and, to a lesser extent, other caring adults, children develop an “attachment style,” which greatly impacts how they interact with others in the future. Researchers have identified four such attachment patterns but for our purposes, we can divide these into two groups: secure and insecure.
Parental sensitivity stands out among the many factors that promote the development of children with secure attachment patterns. This means a parent takes notice of their child’s needs and appropriately responds to them. Of course, due to a host of factors, parents sometimes misunderstand or fail to meet the needs of their children and they should not beat themselves up for such failures so long as they are trying to correct them.
Because his needs are consistently met, the securely attached child knows that he can rely upon mom and dad to provide comfort, reassurance and safety in the event of a frightening or dangerous situation. The secure child demonstrates this sense of security through a willingness to explore his or her environment precisely because he or she knows that mom or dad will be there if something goes wrong.
As he or she grows, the environment for exploration becomes larger and more complex – the extended family, church, school, friends, co-workers, and the choice of vocation emerge for exploration. The family, and particularly the parent-child relationship, remains the model and safe-harbor for all of this greater exploration. In a sense, we never outgrow our need for a secure base from which to explore our world: even as adults, we need relationships with others on whom we know we can consistently depend.
From a faith perspective, the importance of parents consistently striving to meet the needs of their children cannot be underestimated. Numerous studies have identified correlations between how people relate to their parents and how they relate to God. We would see in such testimony evidence of the fact that parents, who are made in the image and likeness of God, have been chosen by him to manifest his love to their children. A parent’s loving actions toward their child reflect God’s own care for all of us, his children. Considered cosmically, a parent’s task is to be the preeminent channel through which the children receive the love of God and grow in relationship with him.  
In the biological sphere, every parent is first a child; so, it is also in the spiritual realm. We are beloved children of the Father and from our knowledge of that love springs forth the fecundity of vocation. Every vocation represents a call to fruitfulness. Yet for a tree to bear fruit its roots must be firmly planted – it must be securely attached so to speak. As God’s ministers of the domestic church, parents prepare the soil, water and fertilize their child’s growing life by their actions so that the child becomes securely rooted in the love of God. Deeply rooted in the love of God, young people can then explore how God is calling them to bear fruit whether that is through marriage, priesthood or religious life.

Father Will Rooney serves as associate pastor of St. Mary Cathedral Parish in Austin. He was ordained to the priesthood on June 27, 2020. He is a member of the Diocese of Austin Year of the Domestic Church committee.