The Domestic Church: We learn to live our faith through the example of our family members

By Jennifer Kodysz | Guest Columnist

When I was young, my brother and I spent summers with our extended family in Ohio. Each year the two of us would hop on a plane and head north for weeks of visiting family and friends. While I treasure many memories from that time, several things remain clear in my mind. I remember the joy of seeing people I loved dearly that I only got to see in the summer. I remember the cool evenings and soft grass and eating fresh snap-peas and cherries that we gathered from my late uncle’s crops. I also remember learning prayers from my grandmother at night before I fell asleep. We would pray line-by-line, her reciting the line and me repeating, until I knew the prayers by heart.
The memories of prayer with my grandmother stand out distinctly in my mind because while I was raised in the Catholic faith, she taught me prayers and devotions that I had not known otherwise. My prayer life grew because she shared her faith with me.
Prior to working at the diocesan level, I spent about 12 years in parishes working in youth ministry and as a director of religious education. It became abundantly clear to me over the years that prayer can be challenging for many people. Not just for children or youth, but for adults as well. People often expressed challenges in praying during Mass, or the challenge of prayer as a conversation with God. Some people simply did not know how to pray. Like many other skills we learn as we grow, prayer is something that must be taught, nourished, developed and experienced.
Children learn how to communicate by watching and mimicking their parents. Language is learned through experience. In the same way, children rely upon their parents and family to learn how to pray. They learn to trust and have confidence in the Lord by observing their parents seek the will of God. They learn how to talk to God by watching those closest to them. In “Apostolicam Actuositatem,” Pope Paul VI says, “Christian husbands and wives are cooperators in grace and witnesses of faith for each other, their children, and all others in their household. They are the first to communicate the faith to their children and to educate them by word and example for the Christian and apostolic life.” While faith is a gift from God, it is also a virtue that grows. We learn how to live and express our faith through the witness and support of people in our families.
As we continue our reflections during this Year of the Domestic Church, our theme for February is “prayer at home.” This is a time in which we can reflect on the role of prayer within our families, and the ways in which we lay the foundation of prayer in our family life. This is a time for honest reflection. Does your family know that God loves them? Do you pray with your spouse and loved ones? Does your family attend Mass and reconciliation together? Do you demonstrate mercy and forgiveness to your family? Does your family face life’s challenges in light of what the church teaches? Or simply, does your family understand why prayer is important?
We will soon enter the Lenten season when we will determine what it is we would like to “give up” as a sacrifice. These sacrifices unite us more closely to Christ as we journey with him to the cross and ultimately celebrate his resurrection at Easter. However, an act of sacrifice may also entail taking something on rather than giving something up.
Jesus Christ taught us to call God “father.” God’s love and mercy come to us through an outpouring of grace in the sacraments and our relationship with him continuously grows through prayer. Just as he sought Adam in the garden by asking: “where are you?” He desires to pick us up when we have fallen. He desires to share his divine life with us.
This Lent as you are considering a sacrifice, consider a way that you can grow prayerfully with your family. It does not have to be a large leap, it can be a small way that your family grows together. A simple prayer or devotion among spouses, prayer time as a family, or even taking a few minutes each day to listen to God’s voice in silence, are all ways that we can witness our faith in our heavenly father to those closest to us . When families grow together spiritually as a domestic church, we all grow together as God’s family, the church.

Jennifer Kodysz is associate director of Youth, Young Adults and Campus Ministry for the Diocese of Austin. She can be reached at (512) 949-2467 or [email protected].